


Coming Apart At The Seams

by poetssoul



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, M/M, Polygamy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-03
Updated: 2013-11-03
Packaged: 2017-12-30 04:48:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1014282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poetssoul/pseuds/poetssoul





	Coming Apart At The Seams

Like routine clockwork, your hands would always find their way onto me, whether it be the curve of my hips, the dip of my shoulders, they'd always find the place where they belonged. That's how I'm usually woken up once I've fallen asleep in the curve of your arms. One would break the connection, impatient. This time, when I come back from my unusually dreamless state of rest, I find myself alone, entangled in the cotton sheets we share. Where have you gone? is my first thought, panic numbing my veins with ice as I dare to move, perhaps mistaken. Maybe you've rolled over too far in your sleep, something I've noticed you do in the few times I've awoken in the light of dawn before you. Shifting my gaze, I find that my assumption is wrong, filling me with more dread than before; a new anchor taking the place of the other temporarily lifted. As I finally manage to swallow this sliver, I untangle from the bedspread, one heavy footstep in front of the other as I manage to shuffle up to the entrance and place a hand on the burning cold of metal emitting from the place of the doorknob . Just as I turn the bulb in it's socket and push on it gently, unaware even of what time it is, I'm hit with another freight train of emotion that shows so rarely beyond my own interior as I make out the faint echo of your voice.

"Did you hear that?"

"I'm sure you're hearing things, Cas. He never wakes this early." Sam's reply reaches my ears.

"He could, one of these days.."

Worry was thick in the fallen angel's tone; easy to discern. It weakened me as soon as it came out, adding to the amount of pain already weighing me down heavily much more so than when I had started the new day. I've felt so much betrayal in my days especially from my younger brother, but to have it come from you the one that I'm not as looked down upon for wanting as I would be for admitting my love for my sibling? That hit an untouched chord I thought never existed, or perhaps got saved for a particular moment like this. I am blinded, deafened to the world surrounding me, barely able to snap out of it when a palm clasps around my shoulderblade, shaking me frantically.

"Dean, are you alright?". At first I can't dicipher which one is trying to bring me back to the attentive self I usually am, finally able to after a hard blink of the eyes, being met with fierce fire of azure, just like after we kiss and we gaze at each other to admire the handiwork. Now I meerly glance at your surface like I did the day I met you standing beside Bobby, guarded, unsure of what we have now.

"I'm fine." I give as my lie. What difference does it make now?

"I didn't realize the definition of fine meant being zoned out in the middle of our threshold." 

"Point taken." I don't feel like explaining myself when my action was mundane in comparison, as I can make out the faint traces of stray hairs that don't come from just innocently laying on a mattress with the brother of your boyfriend, the faint bruises outlining the assumed secretive positioning just along the dip between the neck and shoulder. What a sight it is to take in all at once, able to give me the disadvantage of being caught off guard with the other's lips pressing firmly into mine, a minute of delay being taken for me to register the contact, to even muster any strength to give back in return.

"You feel tense. Are you holding back something?"

"Of course not. I have nothing to hide from you." I say, nearly cracking the dynamics in the wall threatening to crumble due to the sincerity from your probing, though I buckle down even harder. "I just have a headache coming on, but no need to worry, it'll go away."

"I'll get you some aspirin." 

I bite down hard on my lip, drawing out a leak of crimson to prevent myself from saying anything that will give away my knowledge of any priorly gained already. No, time would come for that in the right instance, and the only thing to do was wait. Dealing with the once celestial being was easier, as a bit of naivety goes a long way. The only thing to worry about was interacting with the other who knows me too well, for one little flaw would be taken as it's purpose; a swift way to take down a formidable opponent. It was a different matter altogether on which I had been able to keep a locked vault on the lusting after the one who is four years my predecessor, and now I had to act like my usual self, as if acting came to me naturally.

"Here" Castiel says, handing over a few pills and a cup of water when he returns.

I nod once, taking them as I feign swallowing, giving back the container when I finish, discreetly hiding them in the side of my cheek as I wait for the right time when I can spit them out.

"Sam made breakfast, if you're hungry." the other mentioned, a slight blush obliviously appearing at the mention of the name.

"I could eat." I respond, my stomach tied in too many knots to digest anything but what still unfolded before me. If the bite mark had not caught my attention, I might have been convinced I was overreacting to the little happenstance, that Cas just wanted to learn in secret to cook; to pocket away the skill for later, perhaps in order to surprise me. Grabbed by the arm, I'm dragged a little too eagerly to the kitchen, as if the aroma of the food will melt away the harsh undertones you're mistaking for a body's weakness.

Sitting down in my designated area, I watch Sam as he scrapes a small pile of yellow onto a chipped plate from its pan, as he adds strips of bacon to the side of it. Even though I can not see his facial features, I can imagine the slight wrinkle of concentration etched into his forehead as he works at perfecting the craft that should already come naturally after years of being together. As soon as he steps away to come over and place the dish In front of me, accompanied by a mug, I realize how right I was when the noticeable crease is still visible, not quite smoothed out. Oh, how I've always wanted to press my lips to it in hopes of settling it down, a start in which I would never be able to finish, but only to lead into what words have always failed me in. 

"Are you going to stare at me all morning, or are you going to eat your food?" is what startles me back into reality, a deep flush covering the majority of my face.

"'Course I'm going to eat, Sammy." I answer, picking up a forkful of egg with a slightly shaky grip, barely managing to push the covered tines into my mouth, flinching away when offered assistance from either of the two.

"Something's different about you." the one in the trenchcoat stated. "It's as if you're holding a grudge against us."

That's exactly what I'm doing! I want to scream. Whether it causes a scene or not, I couldn't care less about that, but I don't want to at the same time, despite the damaging hurt that has spread all over. "You also need to eat, and you can't do that while constantly worrying over me like a little kid."

"Stubborn as always, you know that almost as well as I do." Sam interjects into the conversation.

Nodding, the other busies (himself with wrapping an arm around my shoulders, ignoring how I had told him to eat as I push the contents on the surface in a lazy, counter-clockwise circle, only inturrupting the motion to pick up the ebony brew that meets my lips as bitter as my soul feels. I make sure to leave behind a thin film of the murky substance, pushing the pink ovals into the froth with my tongue subtly, getting up to put aside the meal and to clean off the glass. Any trace of familiarity to the old routine was welcomed, and something so simple helped to calm what felt like suffocation, if only for a little while.

* * *

Smooth..

It hadn't taken long for my stored anger to be recognized completely, and I could have done such a better job of keeping it under control,though of course when wounds gape, they are bound to spill over sooner or later. Mine chose now when I had been on my way to my bedroom again to try to make more sense of this alone, your hushed tone had caught my field of hearing as I come to stand behind you in your position with him on the couch.

"He must have an assumption." Castiel began.

"At the very least. Especially with how he was acting; it's unlike him to be so disconnected." 

"How would you know? You act as if none of this happened at all!" I can no longer prevent myself from growling out In such a defensive retort, it hitting an all new low for him to resort to.

"Dean.."

"Let me guess, you're going to say that it isn't what it looks like and then I'll start to calm down and we continue the life we've got going right here and now? Well, that won't cut it, not this time, Sammy." I ramble forth, cutting him off as my voice raises in volume, accusation deep within finally being unleashed as it should upon both guilty parties.

"It's no use anymore, Sam, he obviously knows." the once heavenly bound creature muses, pinching closer into the protective shelter of the taller human so far as to sit upon his lap, his face half shadowed by the chin hovering above, obviously ashamed, as he was met with the protection's arms wrapped firmly around his middle.

"And I can't believe you, Cas. After all we have gone through since you brought me back from Hell.." I stop for a pause, needing to collect the right phrasing. "I guess it means more to me than it does to you, why I respected our relationship more maturely, yet it still had to come down to this option." I don't meet your gaze, bowing my head in a lowered position as my voice splinters off, a jagged edge of a piece no longer used in the same formation as previously so.

"Does this also have to do with the façt that I can have romantic intentions with your sibling and you can't?"

Color rushes back to my cheeks as I refuse to answer. The point of no return has been crossed now, so blatantly exposed as if it were nothing more thàn an innocent afterthought.

"Answer, Dean. Is it true?" my brother interrogates.

I'm flustered by the fact that Castiel had the audacity to bring the comment up into existence within our conversation. Since when had he begun to master dealing such low blows; when he decided to take the first step in this direction they were now pointed? I wait to calm down just a little so the fire blazing doesn't burn more than it has to. "It is, Sammy." my response comes out slow, calculated as I lie in wait for his repulsive reaction. Instead, I am all of a sudden enveloped in his longer limbs, pulled into where the betrayer had just sat not long before, the entrance of his mouth pressed firmly against mine in a gentle demand.

"I hadn't realized the feeling was mutual." I mutter once I manage to regain my breath.

"Neither had I. I figured it'd be better to just hide my love away from you."

It's an easy acknowledgment of the reasoning behind choosing such a way of life, for it had generally been what I had done as well with loves double-edged sword slicing both ends deeply into what could and could not be. Now that this confession was made, did I have to choose? It was a punishment all in it's own to be dealt with, to be made for such a function and fit in differently.

"All these years of keeping it to yourself, no wonder it's hardened you."

All I can do is nod at that, smiling sadly. It couldn't be farther from the truth, and now it's come down to this point, to be located once and for all; the root of all evil. I tried to ignore it over the years so I wouldn't subcumb to the temptation, but when you got down to the nitty-gritty of things, it was a tantalization never to be undone. It draws me into a revelating reverie, nearly captivating me completely if it had not of been for the third member trying to escape the tribulation still underway.

"Castiel Domini." I call out drearily.

"It leaks from your mind like excess rain off the edge of a roof that I no longer answer to that particular title." I am met with such a response as if I committed the heinous crime of adultery once stopped with your back still turned in my direction, even as I unfurl my brother's fingers from my waist to stand near you, to lay on a flat palm.

"Now you must deal with what I did." the former celestiel entity realized, obviously affected by it. "You pick between us."

"Cas..."

"No, I understand that in modern times it is unacceptable to take more than one life partner and I'll respect the culture."

I can still remember the first time I caught sight of you once I seized firing at you wildly. My heart had made it's first true claim in such a long while, confusing me as I was taken along for the ride, glad when it clicked inside of me what was going on, that I had fallen hard for such a highly praised creature. It had locked down upon what it knew was wanted, and I would not be giving that up.

"There are loopholes to everything." I reason.

"I cannot accept such an offer. My name is smudged in your eyes." I get in return trying to move away from my touch. I bear down a tighter grip, hiding my face in the bony edge just under your earlobe. You were lost to me multiple times before, and I will not have it again.

"Doesn't mean you can't redeem yourself."

"Really?"

"Mhm, and if you are able to, then maybe you'll fully be worthy of this." Without a hitch in my movements, one of my arms holds harder still to the male as my other slips into my jacket pocket, rummaging slightly until I get it into my grasp, bringing it up to your clasped fist that I persuade open, slipping a band onto the third finger of it. I remain in my exact position, the only difference being in the fact that I now hold onto the tips of the hand decorated with the proposed statement, staying silent to allow it all to settle in.

"You already decided upon me?" the confusion pierces, though he doesn't look in my direction still.

"Well, we are in a relationship, despite the derailing we received." I answer, whiplashed at the sudden rotation, to be pushed into by the former angel.

"I apologize, Sam. Perhaps you'll find someone else."

"You didn't think I'd leave him out, did you?" I inturrupt just as color spreads across my relative's face once he raises his also banded appendage.

"But, I don't understand." his face scrunches up as he looks over my shoulder, processing the correct thoughts that could possibly help to explain.

"Of course you don't, as you aren't omniscient anymore. While your back was turned, Dean gave me a similar ring. " Sam explained easily, Castiel's face relaxing.

"How is a wedding like this going to happen, knowing that most are against the idea?" the fallen one queries.

"We'll figure out a way." I assure, moving my mouth into the abyss of follicles, breathing slowly into it while sending my marks of affection in every vacant crevice I can, met with the mimic of it upon my clothed collarbone.

As the younger of us moves to be added into our two-membered embrace, I am opened up to what I tried so hard to ignorantly block out, what I at first considered a damaging aspect. Now, it's clear that the love has been able to spread, and even though we had to come apart at the very seams that kept us from tethering, it revealed what need be, for the better of our well-being as three husbands combined in a different way, at least completed.


End file.
